Wednesday, November 23, 2016

A New Direction: Sharing the Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and a Fresh Start

Have you ever read a beautifully written quote, experienced an unforgettable view, or maybe you've heard a line in a song that really stuck with you? I think we can all agree that we have had these experiences. But, have you ever been in the position where one of those experiences left you in tears, completely speechless, and with the feeling of your breath being taken away? I experienced this feeling today after finishing, "The Magnolia Story" by Chip and Joanna Gaines. Now, you guys know I love Chip and Joanna, but never in my life have I experienced something so unexplainable after finishing a book. My breathtaking moment came from the words below...

"Go and find what it is that inspires you, go and find what it is that you love, and go do it until it hurts. Don't quit, and don't give up. The reward is just around the corner. And in times of doubt or times of joy, listen for that still, small voice. Know that God has been there from the beginning-and He will be there until...The End." 

-The Magnolia Story

I immediately thought of this little blog and the short journey I have been on so far with sharing my home and life with you. This blog has inspired me to be creative and focus on the things that give me some sort of balance and peace. I may not be the best writer, the best decorator, or the best "DIY-er," and trust me, it is very easy to compare yourself to other amazingly talented people. But I'm finding that it makes ME happy. 

As some of you may know, I am a Second Grade Teacher, and the life of a teacher can be extremely crazy. There is really no down time during the day and you make about 1,000,000 on the fly decisions every minute of every day. I recently started a new job, in a new district, and teaching a new grade. I was spending 8 + hours over the weekend at school prepping and learning the new curriculum for the following week. I wasn't leaving school until 5 or 6 each day and then coming home to cook dinner, walk my dog, and then... grade papers. It was a constant cycle and I just felt like I was failing. We are our own biggest enemy, and sometimes I wish I could just kick myself in the rear and say, "Stop doubting yourself and start believing in yourself." 

It wasn't until I had a talk with one of my professors from college that I really admitted to myself that I was making my job my entire life...and that it was simply just not fair to my family or to myself. I cried to my professor, I cried to my husband, I cried to my amazingly supportive teaching team, and I cried to my friends. I think if you talked to me during that week of realization, I probably cried to you, too. And if I didn't, I was probably trying very hard to hold back those tears! Heck, I'm crying right now just thinking about that week. I think I was just so exhausted that I didn't know what else to do but cry. 

I feel like for the most part I am a very strong person. I am usually giving the advice or saying things like, "we got this" or "don't give up, you can do it". I think sometimes we try so hard to be strong when inside we are just crying out for help. I know that this is me. I don't like to feel weak, uncertain, or like a failure. I mean who does?! But I can honestly say that I was feeling all of those things. 

If you read my first post about l.o.v.e you know that I had my very first blog post typed up for about a week, but never had the nerve to post it. My best friend finally talked me into posting my story and it honestly felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I can't tell you how good it felt to just It also felt reassuring knowing that I was not alone in my feelings and that many people could connect with my words and experiences so much. It is each and every one of you that have read my post and shared your stories with me that continues to push me along in sharing my journey with you. I feel like my words are not enough, but I want to express my sincere appreciation and gratitude to all of YOU for helping me to move forward. 

Joanna says, "go and find what it is that inspires you" This blog has inspired me. It has taught me how to balance my teaching and allowed me to connect with so many wonderful people. I know that many of you have probably experienced the same exact feelings that I have so honestly shared with you. But I challenge you to go find what inspires you, like I have with this blog. "The Magnolia Story" has taught me to never give up on my dreams. To listen to that small voice telling me to keep moving forward. And most importantly, it has taught me to believe that even through those trying times, things will be ok in...

The End.